


A Silent Forthcoming

by PeetasAndHerondales



Series: One-Shots [8]
Category: Infernal Devices - Cassandra Clare
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-07
Updated: 2013-02-07
Packaged: 2017-11-28 13:10:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/674752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeetasAndHerondales/pseuds/PeetasAndHerondales
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As Will reminisces on his marriage with Tessa, he realizes that time is passing, and their differences are becoming too great...</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Silent Forthcoming

**Author's Note:**

> This is something I co-wrote with my best friend Jen a while ago, in anticipation of "Clockwork Princess."

He stared through the window pane, the condensation from his breath fogging his view of the murky streets of London. People walked amongst the cobblestone streets, smiling, laughing, enjoying each other’s company. Rain started to fall as people scurried to shelter, hopping into carriages, scurrying under awnings in hopes to escape the ice-cold droplets plummeting towards them. The drops hit the window, splattering, and he could feel the cold air seeping through the window. All of it, the ominous clouds, the clattering of feet, people holding onto each other with loving smiles as they raced towards warmth, brought back the memory.

 

~

 

            “It’s perfect.” A young man said to his fiancé as they stood outside a shop in London.

            “Will, I couldn’t; it’s too much.” The young girl responded with indignation. The necklace was indeed perfect. It was a red ruby shaped like a heart on a long gold chain. Tessa Gray had never seen anything so beautiful, so exquisite. However, it probably cost more than all of Jessamine’s elaborate dresses combined.

            “Nothing is too much for you. Besides, I will not have my fiancé looking less than her best. After all, you are marrying _the_ Will Herondale. Appearances must be kept at top-notch.

            Tessa went to swat at his arm, but before she got the chance, a single drop fell upon her nose. She looked up and saw the gray clouds looming over the city, and watched as more began to fall.

            “Will, it’s raining! Let’s go before we’re drenched.” Tessa exclaimed as she grabbed the jacket of his sleeve and started to make her way towards the carriage.

            “Fine, but I’m coming back for that necklace whether you like it or not.”

            Tessa rolled her eyes and began to make her way up the street, but then the rain came harder.  Within seconds, her dress was soaked through, and her hair plastered to her face. She tried to push it away anxiously, and found she could barely see through the rain that poured all around them. She turned to Will and was surprised at the sight that lay before her. Will was laughing like a school child hunched over and grabbing his knees at the force of his amusement.

            “What on earth is so funny? Do you not see that I am drenched and freezing? Hurry up!”

            “It’s just that you look most hysterical. I doubt I’ve ever seen you such a mess. Your hair looks like one of Jessie’s mops.” At his comment, Tessa scowled and attempted to storm off, but Will grabbed her small hand with his large calloused one and started running, pulling her with him.

            “Oh, shut it!” She yelled at him through the storm as she struggled to keep up with him, her boots slipping on the cobblestone street. “You are acting like an immature child, Will, and I refuse to tolerate it.”

            At that, he turned around suddenly, stopping in front on her. She rammed into his firm chest at his sudden cease. Groaning, she looked up at the incredulous look on his face and started laughing, they both did. There, they stood on the street of London in the pouring rain, clutching each other while laughter wracked their bodies.

            “Are you going to punish me, then, Mrs. Gray, for my inappropriate behavior?”

            Tessa smiled and grabbed the front of his shirt. She stood up on the tips of her toes and kissed him.

            “I just might.”

 

~

 

            They had just been engaged and were so blissfully happy. They had their entire future ahead of them, and in that moment, nothing could go wrong. They would marry, buy a flat, and live their lives together. However, not everything goes according to plan, an unfortunate lesson Will learned. Their engagement was to be six months long, and then they would marry at the institute surrounded by friends, Jem, his best man, on his left.  The day approached, looming around the corner. He was would be nineteen, Tessa eighteen, but something was wrong. In the two years he had known her, she had not changed, at all.  It was hard to explain, the aging of someone after only a few years, but Will just knew that something was not right. After much persisting, they visited Magnus and were told the truth. Tessa still had the body of a sixteen-year-old, and would remain this way forever. She was part warlock, so she would remain this age for her entire immortal existence.

            “All warlocks are different. I was nineteen when I stopped aging, but I’ve seen others stop as young as thirteen.” That is what Magnus had said, and there was no way of changing Tessa’s condition. They talked about what it meant, how it would affect their lives; but it was mutually decided that they wouldn’t let it. They would continue their lives and live with her immortality for as long as possible. They loved each other and wanted to be happy after so much loss and war. Nothing could stop them. They were foolish children.

 

            His breath caught as he heard a knock at the door.

            “Come in.” He responded hoarsely.

            “Uncle Will!” A boy of nine years ran towards him, and leaped into his arms.

            Hiding the pain, something he now did often, he smiled and said, “Hello, Zachariah. I must admit, you are getting a tad too old for this. What are you, now? 14 stones?”

            The child responded with laughter and exclaimed, “No! Uncle Will, you are so foolish.”

            “Yes, I suppose I am.” Will says solemnly.

            Zachariah, not taking notice, begged his godfather to take him to the park for a stroll. Will just looked down at him, his black hair falling into his crystal-blue eyes. He loved this boy so much, as if he was his own; but he wasn’t. Will did not have any children, and he never would.

                                                                        ~

Today was the big day. Jem was getting married and Will would stand beside him once again; this time as his best man. Will and Tessa had already been married for two years, and they were more than happy to celebrate Jem and Cecily’s marriage. Now Will and Jem would not only be parabatai, but also brothers-in-law.

The ceremony had been a wondrous event and the reception even greater thanks to a certain Warlock; never doubt Magnus’ taste in décor. Will enjoyed himself greatly but, after some time, he decided he needed some time to himself. He took a generous swig from his glass of champagne as he roamed around the party, eventually ending up outside on the balcony. He inhaled the cool night air as he recalled the night’s events: hugging Jem and his sister, dancing with Tessa and Cecily, and making a half-drunk speech about how Jem was the only man he would entrust his little sister to, tears escaping from his eyes. He chuckled softly to himself. He was so proud of Jem and his sister, so unbelievably happy for them. He knew that they had a happy life ahead of them.

“What are you thinking about?” Tessa asked as she snuck up behind him.

He turned to her and smiled, shrugging, “Nothing in particular, really, just about how happy I am for the newlyweds,” he said.

“Yes, they were just discussing how many children they would have,” Tessa murmured softly.

Will noticed the sadness in her voice and placed his fingertips under her chin, “Don’t feel bad, Tessa,” he whispered, “I love you no matter what; you’re everything I need and all I’ve ever wanted, and that’s more than enough for me. It always will be,” he assured her.

Tessa shook her head, fighting tears away, “You say that _now_ , Will, but what about later, when everyone else has children and we don’t? How are you supposed to pass on your lineage?

Will pressed his lips together tightly, seeming highly displeased by her comment, then finally replied, “I don’t care about passing on my lineage, or any of that, Tessa. I’m sure our Jem will do a fine job with that.” He said with a suggestive grin.

Tessa still looked displeased as she tucked a loose curl behind her ear, her head turned down and frowning. Will reached out and grabbed her chin pulling her face close to his. “All I care about is _you,_ and only you, do you understand? Besides, we can always help out Jem and Cecily with their little devils. We’ll never be alone, Tessa. Their children will be like our children; we’ll love them just the same,” he insisted.

Tessa sighed.  “I hope you’re right. I just want you to be happy.”

“I will be Tessa. Let’s just go back to the party. I don’t want to argue anymore.”

With that Tessa nodded and took his hand and led him back inside the ballroom, where they dance the night away, not knowing that their lives in fact would not always be as blissful as Will assumed.

~

Will walked down the stairs of the institute, hand-in-hand with his nephew Zachariah. As he stepped out into garden, he caught sight of Tessa and Cecily having a discussion on the bench. He waved at them, and, as they waved back, Zachariah let go of his hand and ran towards his mother. Cecily hugged her son affectionately, and Tessa’s solemn gray eyes locked upon his. A bulge formed in his throat as he saw the guilt and sorrow in her eyes. He tried to smile at her in consolation, but she saw right through it: they were both guilt-ridden and unhappy.

All of these years and, despite their undying love, Tessa’s immortality and her inability to have children had always held them back. He loved his wife dearly, but it was obvious that during time like these, they wished that they were a normal couple who could age together and have children. He couldn’t linger on those thoughts, though, because he knew that it would only take him to a darker place, leading him to the dungeons of his mind.

He exhaled, letting go of the menagerie of thoughts in his head, and walked up to Cecily, forming small talk with her and Tessa as Zachariah played in the garden. Soon, however, he decided to excuse himself and go back into his room, where he continued to brood in solitude. The look on Tessa’s face had been too much for him to handle. Everything they did now seemed to be forced, every smile was faked and every word was uttered with difficulty. They had to stop pretending that all was well between them; it was only forming an endless pit between them, like a canyon that stretched them farther and farther apart. He was afraid that all of these little things would collect, and soon, all of the things that were left unsaid would come back and haunt them. He didn’t want their love to end.

But he had to accept the truth that the life they had wanted for each other was a mere fantasy they would never transpire. The sorrowful looks and guilt ridden conscious’ were their reality and nothing seemed to be able to change that.

 

~

 “Cecily, this is absolutely preposterous. We’ve been searching for this bloody outfit for hours! What was wrong with the last one or the eight before that?”

“William this has to be perfect. I did not pay the photographer such a large sum of money to have my son dressed like a buffoon.” 

Finally, after thirteen Shoppe’s they found an outfit suitable for his sisters taste for the family portrait and made their way back to the house. It was one matter to spend such a ridiculous amount of time shopping, but another to do it on his 40th birthday: the birthday no one seemed to remember. However, that might be a good thing. Maybe this atrocious outing was good for him. Will did not need another reminder of another year that he had aged while Tessa remained her young sixteen year old self. She was beautiful and fair and as Will passed by a frost covered window, his own reflection was known to him. Small patches of salt and pepper had begun to arise upon his head, deep lines could be seen at the corners of his eyes and at the outline of his mouth, and his eyes held all the tiredness he felt from all the years he lived. He was getting old.

When they walked in they were suddenly surrounded by loved ones shouting, “Happy Birthday Will!” He should have been ecstatic. Everyone had come to celebrate him. He wasn’t. He looked at Jem and his son, all his friends and their children, and then at her and the look in her eyes. He felt like his heart had dropped into his stomach. He loved her, but the life they had wasn’t enough anymore. He was sick of people asking if she was his daughter when they walked down the street. He was sick of watching his friends children grow up, their fathers teaching them to fight or the wonder of literature. Mostly he was sick of that look. The look that was always full of pity.

 

~

Two years later and those torturous emotions had only grown; now to unbearable lengths. Will did not know if he could do this much longer. He loved her too much to leave. He knew no one would ever have his heart the way she did, but the life they were living was painful for them both. She deserved to be happy. To be with someone like her, not a middle-aged man who couldn’t overcome his feelings of guilt and resentment. There was no way out and he wasn’t completely sure he would escape if given the chance.

Suddenly there was a tap at the window that brought him out of his reverie. Sitting upon the windowsill was a black raven hitting the glass with its beak. He stood up warily and moved closer to the window. He could now see a rolled up piece of parchment protruding from its beak. He opened the latch and suddenly the bird dove into the room as Will threw his hands in front of his face to protect himself. The raven flew around his head before dropping the parchment on the desk and then leaving and flying off into the night air, not a hair on his head touched by the blasted thing.

In confusion he walked over to his desk and unrolled the parchment hesitantly. His eyes quickly scanned the words written upon it.

 

_Mr. William Herondale,_

_Your presence is required tonight at the below location. Absence will not be tolerated and will be conceived as a great insult. Bring no one and make it a high priority to arrive promptly._

 

Written below was indeed an address and one he recognized. It was where the Silent Brothers abided. This was very curious, very curious indeed, but he’d be a fool not to go and a little adventure was just what he needed.

~

 

It was the middle of the night, and the streets were cold and damp and bare. Will skipped across the cobblestones, avoiding puddles as he wondered why the Silent Brothers would want to meet at such a morbid hour. Then again, they were always doing strange things like that, and besides, who was he to judge? When he finally arrived at the cemetery, he opened the old, creaky gate and slipped through, walking through tombstones until he found the hidden entrance. He made his way silently through the dim passageway, and, sooner rather than later, he was watching the Silent Brothers gathering in a circle.

Welcome, Nephilim. We have been expecting you. Come gather here with us and join us in our circle. One of the Silent Brothers whispered in his head.

Will gulped and treaded softly to stand in between two of the Brothers. Once there, they all turned to him, and he could see their sealed mouths and unseeing eyes from underneath their low hoods. He suppressed a shudder, and then gathered the courage to ask, “What have I been called for, exactly?”

That is an excellent question, Shadowhunter. It has come to our attention that you are bound to an Immortal, and that she is no longer fit for you, as you have aged and she has not. The mortals have also come to notice this, and it has caused you much discomfort, has it not?  Another one of the Brothers rasped.

“Well…yes, I suppose. But you still haven’t answered my question. Why am I here?” he demanded, feeling defensive.

Do not let your pride stand in your way; it is a very mortal fault. We simply wish to help you, or rather, ease your aging agony. We wish to recruit you as one of our own, as an immortal Silent Brother in service of the Angel. The first Brother explained.

 

Will gaped. He had not expected this; he had in no way foreseen that he would be invited to join the daunting and eerie Silent Brothers. Rather, he had expected some sort of complaint from them, or even an ominous warning of some sort. But this, this was beyond his comprehension. Why would they want someone like him? “Why me?” he asked in disbelief.

We have watched you from afar, William Herondale. You have sacrificed yourself for others nearly all of your life. You know how to place others before you, and you always come to those in need. Your duty as a Shadowhunter has gone above and beyond expectations. Join us and you will be able to continue serving others as an immortal, and maintain silent watch over your beloved,” the Brothers persuaded in unison.

Will frowned. He wasn’t sure about this, although it was a tempting offer. It seemed more like something that Jem would do, rather than him. But Jem had a family, and he had everything to live for. Will could live for them and for Tessa, but Tessa could not live for him; he would have to her leave side eventually, as an ancient and wasted man. He winced at the thought; no, Tessa could never see him like that. He would not break her heart that way. She would not see him die and wither away like a leaf in the fall, trying to escape winter’s clutching grasp. She would not have to bury him and suffer his inescapable demise. But he couldn’t leave without a warning either; that would be just as heartbreaking for her. “I must inform my family about this,” Will finally let out.

Very well, but we must have the ceremony tonight, as it can only be done during certain times. The recruiting of a new Silent Brother is a rare and convoluted process. Once you accept the invitation, you may not go back as you were before. They cannot see you in person, but you are welcome to write them a brief letter, and we will make sure that they receive it promptly. You are also not allowed to tell them what your new identity is, and you may not contact them directly after this. They cannot know who you are, for it is part of the silent vows. Immortality will be given to you in exchange of your individuality and your voice. Do you accept these terms?  The Silent Brothers inquired.

For once, Will was speechless. He did not know how to respond to this demand. He hadn’t even bid said good-bye to Tessa, or Jem, or his sister Cecily, or even his nephew Zachariah for that matter.  He would never see them again with his eyes, and they would never see him as himself. He would never kiss his wife one last time, never see the depth of love in her eyes….no. He had to stop thinking like this, unless he wanted to back out. He was convinced now that he had to join the Silent Brothers, for it was the best thing for him and for everyone else, and isn’t that what he had always lived for, doing what was best for everyone else instead of himself? Only this time, it would benefit him as well, for he would be able to watch over all of them, especially Tessa. Oh, Tessa. He would do anything for her, even if it meant co-existing with her in secret. He had to deal with what he had. “I accept,” he replied firmly.

Very well then, come with us. They ordered. And he did.

The only thing he had left his family was a note saying this:

_Dear Family,_

_I can no longer bear the pain of aging without my wife. I can’t stand the looks of pity that I receive on the streets, and I can no longer avoid the ever-growing gap between us. I love you all dearly, but for that I must let you go. I have set out for a new journey and have found a new identity. Do not search for me, for you will never find me, and your search will only cause you more grief. Just know that I will be alive and well and watching over you always. Jem, you will always be my brother and parabatai, and I wish you the best. Cecily, I know that you are strong, and that you will keep them strong as you did for our parents when I was gone. Zachariah, know that I will never forget you, and I trust that you pass on our lineage. And last but certainly not least, Tessa. My beloved Tessa, live a long and happy existence, for I have done this for you._

_With hope at last,_

_Will_

And that was the day that Will Herondale became Brother Zachariah, never to look back with regrets, and always looking forward to the day he ran into his Tessa again.

 

~

 

He woke up with a feeling that he was not alone. The instinct tickled his senses, the way only a Shadowhunter’s could.  Carefully, he slipped his hand to the right, slowly and deliberately. He reached between the nightstand and the bed and his fingers gripped the handle of the knife. He took a small breath and concentrated on where the light movement was coming from. Quickly, he moved, opening his eyes and throwing the blade in front of him for protection. Before he could move another inch, strong fingers clenched themselves around his wrist and forced him back onto the bed. He struggled and kicked, but the culprit was too strong to overpower. Slowly, his eyes adjusted to the dark, and he could make out a tall, hooded figure above him. With closer inspection, he recognized who stood above his bed: a Silent Brother.

“Jace Lightwood, I mean you no harm.  If I let you go, will you promise to calm yourself?”

Jace recognized the voice that filled his head as Brother Zachariah’s. Relief poured over him as he nodded his head.  But, then something else started to creep up: panic. Why was he receiving a visit from a Silent Brother at this hour? Was Brother Zachariah here to warn him of something? Was it Sebastian?

“Brother Zachariah, please accept my apologies. I was startled at your arrival.  Is there some urgent news you must give me?” Jace tried to be well-spoken and show respect, but he knew from the sound of his voice that he sounded frantic.

“Relax, my son. No harm has come to your friends or family. All are safe for now. I come to you, not to warn, but to aid. Your condition has been causing you much trouble, has it not?”

 

Suddenly that fear was replaced with hope. “Yes, it has. Are you saying you have found a solution?” Jace asked, suppressing his excitement.

“It seems that we have, but you must come with me, for the cure needs to be administered at our holy place with the help of the entire clan.”

He was going to be cured. He’d be able to hold Clary, to truly be with her again without pain.

“I’ll come with you immediately.” Jace slipped out of bed and threw on a jacket and laced up his shoes. He then quickly grabbed his stele and cell phone, stuffing them in his pockets before he made to follow Brother Zachariah. First he stopped though, hesitating.

“Brother Zachariah…thank you. I am very grateful. This means more to me than you could imagine.”

Brother Zachariah turned, and Jace could have sworn he smiled. “You’re very welcome Jace.”

~

Brother Zachariah made his way out of the New York institute with Jace following behind him. As he walked down the steps into the night air, an image appeared in memory: a girl with brown wavy hair and greyish-blue eyes that never failed to make him catch his breath. Brother Zachariah truly understood love and longing much more than Jace Lightwood knew.


End file.
